


Muddy Bloody Hell!

by unknowableroom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-18
Updated: 2006-02-18
Packaged: 2019-01-19 15:50:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12413217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unknowableroom_archivist/pseuds/unknowableroom_archivist
Summary: Best Friends Lily n James have a talk.'Not only have I been bitten by the bloody lovebug, the venom from the love bug has spread to my internal organs, causing me bleed internally.' My original take on an L/J romance.





	1. Spit and Snow

**Author's Note:**

> Note from ChristyCorr, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Unknowable Room](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Unknowable_Room), a Harry Potter archive active from 2005-2016. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after May 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Unknowable Room collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/unknowableroom).

** Muddy Bloody Hell! **

There was a fierce blizzard outside. The billions of particles of snow were twirling, tumbling, and falling from the sky. Even though it was officially not winter yet, it was very cold outside.

Barely anyone noticed the blizzard. It was about 10:45, but it was Friday night, and it was a tough day for students as well. One of those few people was a red-head girl, most commonly known as Lily Evans.

She sat on the small cushion by the large window, watching the snowflakes melt as soon as it came in contact with the glass. Her long red hair was out from its usual ponytail, and was hanging down, falling into loose ringlets down her back, and was ever so slightly covering her bottle green eyes.

Suddenly, the entrance to the Common Room opened, just a smidge, enough to let a rather skinny teenage boy in. You could hear soft socked feet padding quietly across the carpeted floor; however you could not see it.

Unbeknownst to the invisible force, the girl sitting on the cushion adopted an evil grin, and slid of the cushion inaudibly, and dropped to her knees with still no sound.

Suddenly, out of no where, a head appeared. A crème coloured, messy-haired, hazel eyed head. Then, his entire body appeared out of no where. A pyjama wearing, shoeless, slumped body. The body was also known as James Potter.

With a sigh, he flopped down onto a chair right in front of a fire rather spectacularly, and groaned melodramatically. He was obviously in a morose mood.

Lily silently watched him frown mournfully at his socked feet, and walked up to where he was sitting, and flinched when the floor squeaked.

_Bloody hell._

The boy didn’t even look up, and in a blink, he shoved the invisibility cloak over his head, once again making him invisible. Lily smiled wanly at a sudden idea…

She walked quietly to the stairs, and then bounded down the stairs again, as loudly as she could. She walked to the fireplace, and then very loudly, she said:

“Oh dear! It’s only a quarter to eleven! Where in the world is everyone?”

And with that enquiry, she flopped down as hard as she could on the chair, and heard an intake of breath. In response, she simply smirked evilly. She then adjusted herself neatly on James’s lap, ignoring the butterflies in her stomach.

With an irritated growl, James shoved off the invisibility cloak, with a pout on his features. He then glared at Lily accusingly.

“Hiya Jamie! What’s up?” She inquired. She seemed to be completely ignoring the fact that she was sitting on his lap. The only thing that seemed to be reminding her was James’s pout, and the increase of her heart beat rate.

“Well, apart from being squashed by my best-friend-”

“Squashing you? Merlin James, you have _Peter_ for a friend, and you say I’m squashing you?”

“Lee! You insult a fellow marauder?”

“You insulted me too! You implied I was fat!”

“I apologise with all my heart, fair Lee…”

“I have no idea how you have the entire female population hanging of your arm, James…”

“Oh and how so?”

“You have the balls to call a girl fat! That is the worst insult possible!”

“But you know as well as I do, Lee, that although they hang of my arm as you so appropriately put it, I do nothing to accept their-err- _offers…”_

“Right…of course, Jamie. What in the world was I thinking?”

“I’m much too elegant for that…”

“ _Snort”_

“Is that a snort? Not very ladylike, Lily, not ladylike at all!”

“You really think I was ladylike _before_ I snorted just now?”

“Well, after watching you eat…no. I do not…”

At this point, they both noticed simultaneously that Lily was still sitting on James’s lap. The rather sad thing was that they both were enjoying it.

A lot.

Oh, muddy bloody hell.

Lily was now snuggling in his chest, and her legs were curled around her. As you might have assumed, it was a rather large armchair.

Both of them were silent for a minute, and it would seem they didn’t breathe for a pretty long time.

Suddenly, Lily turned to James, and exhaled, her breath fanning across his cheeks, causing James to shudder.

Lily, noticing this, said

“You seem cold, Jamie. Want some hot chocolate?”

James straightened at the opportunity at a conversation.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind. But…I don’t really feel like going to the Kitchens…”

“No problemo! Sheesh Jamie have you conveniently forgotten that we possess magical qualities?”

“It’s funny, really. The words you speak are bigger than you,” James teased.

“Hey, don’t antagonize the girl who can cause charm that would make you squeal and run away…”

James held out his hands beside his head, palms out, the universal sign for ‘I surrender.’

But, Lily wasn’t going to let him down _that_ easily.

“Jaaammiieee…first you call me fat, then you call me imply I’m infinitesimal! You’re supposed to be my best-friend, James…”

And with that, she pulled the worst thing possible on James.

The puppy dog pout.

And who could forget the teared up eyes?

_Oh_ , that’s gotta hurt.

“Sorry Lee,” James said sheepishly, his smile apologetic, but his eyes were a bit more concerned.

“Oh, you are just too easy,” Lily said, cackling insanely, clutching her stomach.

James rolled his eyes at Lily’s antics, but both could see he was tremendously relieved Lily wasn’t upset. Once you were best friends since first year, you can read each other like a book.

She then curled up like a kitten on his lap, and smooshed her face in his chest, not knowing James was feeling veeeeeeery content.

More then a best friend should, in any case.

“James?”

Although her voice was slightly muffled by his chest, her words were distinguishable.

“Are-are you okay?”

“Wha-? What do you mean?”

“It’s just-call me crazy, but you seem…sad today,”

“You’re crazy, Lee,”

“No, _really_ James…”

“Well…I recently came across…a rather scary revelation, one might say…”

“Well, get on with it!”

“I think I have feelings for someone-”

Here Lily was sure she stopped breathing.

“And…she might not feel the same way. In fact, I’m pretty sure she _doesn’t_.”

“Well, of she doesn’t like you, she’s not worth it,” Lily said, grinning ever so slightly, slugging James a little softer than she usually does.

“Oh, but you don’t understand, she is worth it…”

At this point, Lily was looking at her fluffy socked feet, and her stomach was twisting this way and that.

“And so much more…” at that point, his voice was an agonized whisper.

Isn’t it funny how the atmosphere in a room can change from happy, peaceful and bubbly to sadness, pain, and gloom?

Lily’s throat suddenly became constricted, and she closed her eyes, since she could feel stubborn tears pricking her eyelids. She slowly withdrew her face from James’s chest, and slid down his knees, and crawled to the table right next to the chair, and took out her wand, preparing herself to conjure the hot chocolate she promised.

But for some reason, James didn’t seem to realise that Lily wasn’t sitting on his lap anymore, and was still talking, his hazel eyes burning a hole at the back of the fireplace, his eyes burning and flickering with passion, not unlike the fire, the object of his smouldering gaze.

“It’s-it’s just so hard, knowing that I would be willing to give my life to her, and she doesn’t even a bit of love for me…”

Lily pretended to try and remember the charm for hot chocolate, but instead, she was just thinking hard.

_Ironic, isn’t it... We’re in the same position. James would die for the mystery girl and I would die for him. Does that mean I love him? Oh dear god, no…this was NOT supposed to happen. Best friends are NOT supposed to fall in love with one another._

Lily kept her eyes closed, and she could hear her heart pounding in her ears. James still didn’t notice anything. Or, if he did, he ignored it.

“I never felt his way before,” James mused.

“It’s like…you feel as if you’re watching your own dream from a different point of view,” Lily said, surprising James.

“Yeah!” James said, startled out of his misery.

“And that every day that you’re in love, it’s not real. One day you’ll just wake up, and see it was just your subconscious. And it strikes you crazy, that it wasn’t real. Because it was real. And so such more…” Lily said, as if she couldn’t hear him, idly twirling her wand with her slender fingers.

“Yeah!” James repeated.

“How did you know?” he asked.

“You’re not the only one that has been caught by the love bug, Jamie,” she said bitterly.

So bitterly, she surprised James, compelling him to ask his next question.

“Love life in shambles, Lee?”

“Aren’t _you_ perceptive? Not only have I been bitten by the bloody love-bug, the venom from the love bug has spread to my internal organs, causing me bleed internally…”

James, rather surprised with her rather graphic imagery, took a bit of time to recover from his stupor.

“Sheesh…your love life makes mine sound like a vacation with unicorns and fearies…”

Lily stood up, sighing dramatically, and said “You have no idea…”

“Come ‘ere. Best Friend Boy comes to the rescue!” James exclaimed a wild grin on his face, and patting his knee, believing that brining back the fictional muggle super hero he created back in first year would get her out of her miserable mood.

It did very little to improve her mood, but she pulled a fake smile which he could completely see through, and walked over to James. And jumped back on his lap, hard, and James pretended struggle and gasp at the sudden weight.

The only respond he got was Lily burrowing deeper into his lap, and brining up her feet so that she could play with his toes with hers.

Lily sighed, and James looked at her curiously.

“Yes, well that’s all _you’ll_ ever be, to me…Best Friend Boy…”

James froze.

Lily froze.

Lily’s toes froze as well, just in case you were wondering.

Lily closed her eyes, and unintentionally ignored the commands from her brain to her body.

Bloody hell. What in the name of Morgana will she do now...?

“Erm…what?” came James’s strangled voice.

Lily hurriedly slid off his lap, and stood by the three seater sofa closest by the fire, purposely ignoring the burning gaze from James that was burning into her small t-shirt-ed back.

“Not-noth-nothi-nothing,” Lily said after several attempts, in a strangled voice that rivalled James’s.

“No, tell me. What?” James said, now apprehensive.

“What’s their too say?” Lily said bitterly, getting over stubborn denial, glaring at the fire as if it was it’s fault she was trapped in this somewhat- _uncomfortable_ conversation.

James sighed, and slowly walked up to where Lily was sitting, and at a snail’s pace, reached out a hand attentively, gently putting his hand on Lily’s shoulder, which she immediately jerked away from.

“Lee-”

“You don’t know what it’s like,”

“What _what’s_ like?”

“Loving someone who is so close to you…but so far away…”

The only thing you could hear was the flickering sounds of the fire, and the chilly wind ever so slightly rattling the windows.

 

 

 

 

 

_TBC until Chapter Two_

_~Shanzeh_


	2. Spit and Sounds

** Muddy Bloody Hell! **

_This chapter is dedicated to_ _Princess_Pixie_Ice for leaving such an awesome review._

It was like time had stopped.

Lily was simply staring at the fire, her eyes shining with unshed tears. She stood frozen, back rigid, and hands stuck to her sides. She was suddenly terrified out of her wits. Option 1.What if James was too embarrassed to even look at her anymore? Option 2.What if he was so disgusted by her feelings for him, he mocked and ridiculed her? Option3.What if he…laughed?

And the worst possibility yet: What if he pitied her and pretended to like her, and after about one week, he said ‘Look, Evans. I’ve been pretending to like for the most gruelling week of my life. You’re ugly, fat, and now I’m going to ditch you and go snog that girl over there senseless.’

James, however,just stared at Lily’s back, and slowly walked backwards to the sofa, and plopped upon it. He lifted his hand to run it through his jet black hair, but immediately dropped it to his side, remembering Lily hated it when he did that.

Suddenly, a sound that sounded eerily like an irritated sigh that did not come from either Lily or James cut through the air.

**XKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKX**

Unknown to the two teens, perched upon the top stair of the Boy’s Dormitories, were Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Anka Perdova, and Alice Prewitt.

“Why aren’t they doing anything?” came Alice’s worried whisper. Her mind was racing with thoughts. Her light blue eyes were apprehensive, and her blonde hair was hastily tied in a ponytail.

“Well if you’re best friend just announced his undying love for you, you wouldn’t really be spewing the joke about the _centaur_ and the _phoenix_ either, would you?” came the sarcastic remark from Anka. Her caramel eyes were more concerned than she let on, and her ebony black hair was tousled as a result of her running her hand through it repeatedly.

“Guys we should stop watching. I mean-this is a violation on their privacy,” Remus said uncomfortably. His amethyst eyes were pleading, and his hair was also rather dishevelled.

“No! This is better than muggle teel-ee-fiishins-” Sirius exclaimed loudly and proudly at knowing the muggle device. The three completely ignored his-err…- _intelligent_ use of the muggle word, and jumped on him, Anka’s bronze hand clamped tightly over his mouth, Remus holding his legs down, and Alice was holding his arms down.

“Are you _trying_ to get us caught Sirius?” Anka hissed, her breath ruffling the dark locks of his hair.

“Answer me!” Anka said. Anka and Sirius just recently became acquainted. They weren’t exactly the best of friends, if you know what I mean.

“Err-Anka? He can’t really answer you, considering your hand is over his mouth…” Remus remarked good naturedly, his eyes dancing with amusement.

Sirius took this time to deftly lick Anka’s hand with a pale pink tongue, believing it would disgust her. Anka simply grinned mischievously, and licked her entire palm, (the one that was not over Sirius’ mouth) and slowly dragged her hand down his very cute face. Instead of being livid, as Sirius was expected to be, he grinned mischievously, identical to the grin Anka was wearing now.

Remus and Alice now took this time to survey the scene. Sirius’ tongue was still on her palm, Anka’s other palm was flat on his face. Not to mention they were pretty much on top of each- other.

Before they could mock Anka and Sirius, they heard a sound a sound in the Common Room. Alice and Remus’ attention went back to Lily and James’.

Sirius’ eyes never left Anka’s. His tongue never moved either.

**XKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKX**

Lily had enough. The silence was driving her crazy. Just as she was about to open her mouth, James beat her to the line. Except he didn’t say anything. He _laughed_.

Of course, his hand was tightly clamped over his mouth in obvious attempt to hide it, but Lily could hear him laugh. If people were awake in their dormitories, they would’ve heard it too.

Lily was suddenly hurt. Option 3. He was actually laughing at her feelings. Actually laughing. Here she thought he was way better than that. You would too, if he was your best bloody friend.

Lily whirled around, and focused her incredulous stare on James. But he didn’t notice, as he was indolently spinning his wand with his slender fingers.

Why was she even sitting here, listening to James making fun of how she feels? I mean, seriously, is she supposed to just stick around and worship him or something while he mocks her?

Her mind made up, she abruptly stood up, and walked towards the Girls Dormitories Staircase, furious thoughts whirling around in her head.

Suddenly, she heard something that sounded like a groan…

**XKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKX**

Remus ‘shushed’ Alice with a disapproving stare, which caused her to blush, and murmur an apology. Remus, realising how intimidating he must’ve looked, simply gave her a forgiving smile, which she gladly returned. She groaned again, quieter this time, and Remus actually hit his head repeatedly on the wall. Quietly, of course.

“Is she just going to walk away? Without another comment? After all they’ve been through? After all we’ve been through?” Anka whispered furiously, leaning on Sirius from apparent exhaustion. Sirius leaned back onto her on instinct. Of course. Just instinct.

“No…Lee would never do that,” Sirius said firmly. “Prongs wouldn’t do that either,” Sirius added. Anka nodded vigorously with him, while Remus and Alice sent amused glances to each other.

“But-guys?” Alice asked, hesitant and sad.

They all turned looked at her.

“Does this mean that we can’t be friends any more?” Alice said morosely. There was silence for a moment.

“Of course not!” Sirius said, shocked.

“Sirius is right, Alice. We’ll be friend no matter what. And…maybe Prongs and Lee would get together…” Anka confirmed, flinging on hand on Remus’s shoulder, and the other on Sirius’.

That seemed to erase any traces of doubt she had in her mind, and she grinned.

“But guys, I still think we should stop watching,” Alice said, suddenly doubtful.

“It’s a violation of their priv-”

But she could not continue her statement, because at that moment, Anka, Sirius and Remus simultaneously shushed her.

**XKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKX**

He became quiet for a while, but there was still a still a silly little grin on his lips. Just as Lily stepped onto the first step, (with more force than necessary, one might add) James burst into hysterical laughter, except this time he sounded more like an insane mental patient new in St. Mungos. He slapped his knees forcefully, his head was thrown back with the impact of his hysterics, and his glasses were fogged up from his obvious hysteria.

Lily, curiosity and fury overwhelming her, spun around on her heel, and stormed back to where James was having his laugh-attack, and stomped her foot to announce her presence ( again, with more force than necessary) onto the crimson carpet, and glared at her ‘best friend.’

James took his glasses off, and with his eyes squinted, he wiped them with his pyjama top.

“And what pray tell is so damn funny, James?” Lily asked icily. Her hair seemed to cackle with electricity, she seemed to be taller, (for someone who is just so darn short) and her glare would probably make the meanest, toughest blasted ended skrewt back away. But…Alas! James, looking at Lily’s fighting stance, simply laughed harder.

“James,” Lily began in a threatening tone. “Unless you have a death wish, I suggest you stop laughing RIGHT THIS INSTANT, AND TELL ME WHY IN THE NAME OF MERLIN ARE YOU LAUGHNG?” Lily roared. Sadly, this only caused James to laugh harder. With all this laughing and screaming going on, one might wonder how nobody had woken up yet.

James hysterics have now ceased to simply chuckling and snorting occasionally. Sadly, as James’s hysterics have ceased, Lily’s anger had not.

“JAMES BLOODY POTTER!” she shrieked. Again, James was hit with a laughing fit, and Lily lost all self control. Fury hit her like a loose bludger, and all dignity flew out of her faster than you could say ‘snitch’.

Her eyes flashed.

Her teeth bared, and taking one look at her, James stopped laughing.

Immediately.

With a Red-Indian-Tribal yell, Lily flew at him, knocking him clean off the couch, and onto the scarlet carpet. Under James’s flailing arms and legs, and Lily not even coming close to trapping him, continued to yell at him, demanding to know what was so funny.

“Lee-”

“James bloody potter, tell me right this bloody instant, why in bloody hell are you laughing?”

“Lee-”

“I mean, I thought I was your friend! Your best friend! And here you are, laughing your arse off!”

“Lee-”

With a frustrated growl, Lily (with a whole lot of effort) pinned his arms beside his head, and continued to shriek.

“I mean-after all we’ve been through, after all I’ve trusted you with, here you are, laughing. Not just snicker, or a chuckle, but a hysterical laugh!”

James was getting extremely frustrated and aggravated, but Lily was too overcome with vehemence, and fury, and didn’t even notice it, and started to shriek insults and continued with her verbal abuse.

“Seriously James! If you’re so fixed on laughing at my feelings do it in the privacy of your dormitory, something, instead of making me feel like a toe-rag! Are you that fixed on making me feel worse than I am already!”

“LEE, WOULD YOU JUST LISTEN TO ME!”

“NO PRONGS, YOU SHOULD BLOODY WEELL LISTEN TO ME!”

“WELL mmmmppphhhpphppp-”

James was not able to finish his tirade, because Lily compressed his lips together with a firm hand. But James was not to be one to toy with. He struggled his mouth, yes mouth, and Lily didn’t move it even a smidge, even though she was afraid of being bit.

James shook and thrashed his head around with as much force as humanely possible, and Lily’s hand moved along with his head. James thrashed his legs so Lily moved too, (Lily was pretty much on top of him), but then Lily, having enough, straddled him at the waist, her legs firmly planted oh his sides.

James stopped struggling for a moment. Her eyes were real pretty when she was mad. Was her hair always so… _red_? They were slightly curly at the ends, and some of her hair was falling into her eyes, and James had the sudden temptation to brush it away… He then was harshly brought back to earth.

“JAMES POTTTER ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?”

James did the only thing he could at the moment to not only express his feelings for Lily, but his need for Lily to stop holding him captive.

He tried to bite her.

**XKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKX**

“Did he just try to bite her?” Alice whispered harshly.

“Err-I think he did…”

“Well that’s just bloody perfect,” Anka said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. “Really it is. When you’re in love with a girl, and she has you pinned underneath her, try to bite her. Prongs a bloody genius, he is…”

As a response to this, Remus and Sirius said something as a way to stick up for their best friend.

“Prongs is a toe-rag,”

“How stupid can Prongs be?”

Yep. Ah, the beauty of friendship. And it’s importance.

**XKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKX**

“LILY!” James screamed, finally having enough.

Lily, shocked at the feeling at his voice, immediately quieted down, and looked at him expectantly. James, not expecting her to be quiet so easily, blinked blearily up at her for a second.

“JAMES!”

“Sorry! Sorry…Lily, do you want to know why I was laughing?”

”James, if I knew why you were laughing, would we be on top of each other right now?”

“No…Lee, I was only laughing at how…ironic this is…and how stupid you are being!”

“Would you like to share with me how? And how dare you call me stupid? Look at yourself,” Lily said, more snidely than she meant to. Apparently, James didn’t catch the regret on her face, because he blew up at her, but still did not move his position from under her.

“WELL THEN, TELL ME, OH SMART ONE! WOULDN’T IT BE FUNNY IF THE GIRL WHO YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH FORFIVE YEARS WHO JUST HAPPENDS TO BE YOUR BEST FRIEND TOLD YOU SHE LIKED YOU. MAYBE EVEN LOVED YOU! WOULDN’T IT BE FUNNY IF SHE LOOKS ABSOLOUTELY ADORABLE WHEN SHE GETS ANGRY? WOULDN’T YOU HAVE A SILLY GRIN ON YOUR FACE IF SHE SAT ON YOUR LAP? WOULDN’T YOU BE DYING OF LAUGHTER IF SHE THINKS YOU DON’T LIKE HER?”

He stopped, breathing heavily. Both of them were breathing heavily against each other, and they both could hear each other’s heartbeats.

Lily seemed to freeze, and she just stared at him. James was suddenly scared. He grabbed her arm, and flailed it about.

No response.

He let go of her hand in mid-air, and it dropped limply on his mouth, because his mouth was directly under where he was flailing it about.

He was starting to get worried. Lily’s eyes never left his.

So, he did the only thing he could think of. Considering the hand that was limply on his mouth, he glanced back up at Lily who had not removed it yet.

He deftly licked it with a pale pink tongue.

_TBC until Chapter Three_

_Shanzeh_


	3. More Spit and Snogs

Muddy Bloody Hell!

_ This entire story is dedicated to Phoenixtear19, and excellent author, and a great BETA and a story advisor. Kudos MJ! _

“Err-did he just do what I think he did?” Remus asked, fighting between feeling horrified and finding the whole situation hilarious.

“Well…at least one thing is clear,” Anka said silkily.

“And what is that?” Alice asked, still amused by James’s action.

“Best friends think alike,” she said in return, holding up a palm which was a bit shiny from saliva.

Alice and Remus snorted, but Sirius was grinning with satisfaction at the thought of Anka not wiping her hand after so long.

**XKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKX**

James, not looking nearly as terrified at what he had done as he should be, grinned at Lily, who had finally woken up. Suddenly, recent actions flooding back to him, and his eyes widened at the thought of Lily realising his spit was on her hand.

On the contrary.

Lily then slowly licked her entire palm, (the once that was not still limply covering his mouth) and grinned mischievously.

She removed her other hand from his mouth, and slowly dragged her wet hand down his very cute face.

**XKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKX**

Anka, looking at Lily and James with astonishment, turned her attention to the three people behind and beside her.

“Ditto,” Sirius said smoothly, wiping his check, where there were little specks of spit.

Anka simply grinned, and leaned over to Sirius to his ear.

She slowly whispered “You know you like it, Siri…” and with another teasing grin, she spun around on her bum, and focused her attention to Lily and James.

Sirius looked shell-shocked, and slowly, a flirtatious grin came on his face. He leaned of to Anka’s right ear, and only whispered one thing.

“ _Tease.”_

**XKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKX**

It really was the perfect romantic scene. Lily was still straddling his waist, her hair falling in front of her ears, and falling around him in some sort of curtain. Both of their eyes were slightly glazed over, and they both had silly little grins on their faces.

But… _men_. They just had to ruin the moment.

“Err-Lee? Could-Could you move over a teeny bit? Some of your hair is in my nose-”

“Oh! Right, right…”

With a furious blush on her face, Lily quickly rolled off him, and pretty much ran to the large couch on the right side of the fireplace.

“Err-right…thanks…”

For some reason, James missed the feeling of Lily’s chest heaving against his, the way her eyes were glossy, and the way her soft hair was feathery light on his ears. In fact, he almost wished her hair was back in his nose…

James was brought back to earth by the sound of Lily’s shuffling feet. James slowly walked over to where Lily was sitting, and sat beside her. Well- sat about 2 and half metres away. But Lily didn’t seem to notice. She suddenly seemed awfully fascinated by her socks…

James, for lack of having any idea of what to do, turned his attention to her socks as well.

They were cute. Dark blue with broomsticks and chocolate frogs zooming (and in the frogs case) hopping. Lily’s two favourite things…

It was a horribly tense moment…

James cleared his throat nervously.

Lily clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth apprehensively.

It was dead quiet, except for the wind that rattled the windows slightly. You couldn’t even hear them breathe.

_Whoosh…rattle…Whoosh…rattle…_

Was it just him, or could you hear crickets?

_Chirp. Chirp. Chirp. Chirp. Chirp._

Lily awkwardly itched the back of her neck, and gnawed nervously on her lip.

So, Lily being the smart one she is, declared the best ice-breaker in the world.

“You were in love with me for five years?”

And Lily thought _she_ had it bad. She was in love with him for five days! But in love with him no less.

Apparently, this was evidently not the best sentence to break the awkwardness, for James turned bright red, and made a strange noise with his throat that sounded like a cross between a whimper and a choke.

Suddenly, he started coughing. Not just the polite cough, which you could neatly cover with your mouth, but great, hacking cough, and Lily became a bit worried. She cautiously scooted over, and patted his knee.

“James?”

James jumped at the touch from Lily, but just started to couch louder, gasping, and rubbing his throat. _Rubbing his throat?_

_One might wonder if he was choking…_ Choking? But he hadn’t eaten anything…

“James?” Lily asked again, cautiously. “Are you choking, Prongs?”

James nodded furiously, and gulped over and over.

“Are you choking on your own _spit_?”

James nodded feverishly, and Lily hit him hard on the back. For someone who is just so…skinny, she can sure pack a hard one. Pretty soon, a ball of… _phlegm_ flew out of his mouth. Lily wrinkled her nose, and brought her feet up on the couch, sitting cross legged.

James blinked rather owlishly, and licked his lips nervously. He suddenly looked uncomfortable, and Lily then realised their closeness.

But she didn’t back away.

James turned away, blushing, and brought up his legs on the couch. He sat in the similar fashion as Lily, and looked at her straight in her eyes.

Lily smiled weakly, and James smiled back, equally weak. They simply grinned weakly at each other for a while, and Lily again scratched the back of her neck.

Suddenly, James realised that there’s a little smudge on her face, at the corner of her perfect shaped mouth. Presumably a souvenir from rolling around on the floor for so long. Just the thought of Lily straddling him made him flush a deep red…

He smiled shyly, and Lily returned with a bashful grin. He slowly rubbed the spot -whatever it was-off the corner of her lips, and unconsciously brought her in closer. A light red tint appeared on her cheeks, and James found himself smiling fondly at how cute she looked…

**XKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKX**

Sirius slowly inched towards Anka, while she pretended not to notice. He tenderly placed an arm around her shoulder, and she leaned in, smiling affectionately at a scent that was so… _Sirius._

**XKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKX**

James still kept his hand there, even though the smudge was gone. Lily felt her eyes flutter close, and she smiled softly at how he so lovingly touched her.

She leaned in closer, and very lightly brushed her lips against his.

He felt him stiffen, so she tried to draw back, but found that James wrapped his arms around her waist.

**XKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKX**

Anka glanced over at Sirius, not noticing Alice and Remus had now left, grinning at each other as if they accomplished something.

Sirius then slid his hands up her neck, and gently kissed her, slowly, as if he as afraid she would slap him, or something.

At any normal time, she would. But instead, Anka sighed contentedly.

**XKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKX**

Lily began to slide her lips against his, softly, tentatively, but for a moment he couldn’t respond, and Lily was again afraid she went too far. But James just grinned against her lips, not being able to believe he was actually kissing her…

It started out soft, languid, and chaste, but then, she opened her mouth just a little too long and his tongue slid in, tasting and tentatively searching out her own. He liked how she tasted: like chocolate frogs. She smelled like strawberries, and citrus.

Lily also smiled softly at his lips. He tasted like she thought he would. Peppermint. Not like she ever imagined what James would taste like…right. He smelled nice . Like freshly mowed grass, kind of like the quidditch pitch, right after it rained.

He could feel her breathing as she clutched him tighter to her. He relaxed when he could feel her chest heaving against his. It was comforting in a way.

In the mean time, he was losing himself in this kiss…

**XKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKX**

Anka was sighed happily as Sirius’s tongue rolled and massaged hers, and when she began to do the same, Sirius shivered.

Anka took great pleasure in knowing that she was the one causing Sirius to shiver like that.

**XKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKX**

James and Lily were pretty sure they were never going back to the ‘friends’ status judging by how their kiss was going.

Lily gripped James by the chin. She kissed his with such force and passion, James nearly gasped.

Nearly.

He kissed her back, enthusiastically, and they groaned simultaneously.

**XKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKX**

Anka drew back slowly, and Sirius made a moan to protest. Anka instead directed an evil grin to Sirius, and plopped into his lap, and every time Sirius made a move to kiss her, she dodged away.

Sirius whined loudly, and Anka covered her mouth ferociously with his, and Sirius stopped mid-whine.

**XKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKX**

Lily pulled her mouth off James’s, and was surprised to find she was sitting on James’s lap, almost straddling him.

In the meantime, James was rather breathless, with his eyes glazed over, and his hair mussed up.

Lily knew that she had the same look on her face. Lily had never felt so elated, euphoric, so…passionate in her whole life!

“Muddy bloody hell!” James said zealously and contentedly, expressing in the perfect expression for what she was feeling right now.

At the exact same time, however, those words were said equally enthusiastically from upstairs, obviously for different reasons, however.

Well that sure took away from the moment.

**XKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKXKX**

She was doing it again. It was bloody frustrating. Every time he leaned in for another kiss, she swivelled her head around leaving Sirius with his lips puckered, feeling awfully embarrassed.

“Muddy bloody hell!” he cried out of frustration, causing Anka to giggle furiously.

“ _Anka_?”

“ _James_?”

“Lily!” Anka cried, embarrassed out of her wits.

“Sirius!” Sirius cried out confidently, feeling sad at being left out.

Well that certainly distracted them for about a second.

“Where you spying on us?”

“Were you snogging?”

“Did you choke on your own spit?”

These three questions were all said at the same time, causing the three to clap their heads with one hand at the same time. Again.

“Muddy bloody hell!”

Sadly, this was said again at the same time, causing Sirius to get confused, Anka to roll her eyes, James to snort, and Lily to stamp her foot in frustration.

Lily made a frustrate sound in her throat, and threw her arms up in the air, in obvious aggravation. She grabbed James’s hand, and dragged him into their dormitory, murmuring death threats and curses under her breath.

Not to mention James was looking rather exhilarated at the thought of going to the Girls dormitory with Lily.

Anka and Sirius exchanged amused glances, and continued snogging at the landing of the steps.

Not 5 minutes later, they heard a moan coming from the dormitory, sounding awfully familiar…

“ _Muddy bloody hell…”_

**_Hope you liked the ending! I know I did._ **

**_Please review!_ **

**_Sincerely,_ **

**_shanzeh_ **

**ºø,¸¸,øººø,¸ ºø,¸¸,øººø**


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